I don’t get Basketball
Oh no, I've lost my other arm warmer!
I woke up yesterday evening, around 3 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I thought maybe my prostate had given up on me, or that the indigestion was slowly but surely going to tear my stomach into tiny little pieces. As much as I could, I just couldn’t get SG1 (Sleep Gene) to kick in. So I dared to do what only nightwatchmen and suicidal people do at 3am, watch TV. The usual Open University programs weren’t on, someone at the BBC managed to screw that up; and now unfortunately for 3 of 4 channels, some two bit loser was doing a quiz game. (Who the hell rings these shows, at these un-godly hours?!)
I found Basketball, or rather something called a “play off” match. It was between “The Celtics” and “The Magic”. Now imagine my shock when neither vikings or magicians were on the “court” but bestial men, all measuring over 6’4 weighing 200lbs and being able to leap over tall buildings with a single bound!
I don’t get how what seems to be 6 seconds left on the clock managed to last 5 minutes. I don’t get why one of the athletes was wearing “arm warmers”. And I don’t get why Ron Jeremy was a coach for one of the teams.
I was also shocked to find that the ref uses terms like “travelling” and well, I only picked up on “travelling”. (Apparently this means you don’t bounce the ball enough whilst moving – that’s how I understood it!)
I’m pretty sure that this is indeed a cool sport. I mean what other sport can you get coached by Ron Jeremy in? I think it’s cool that a so-called “non-contact” sport has more physical contact than a vietnam movie on roids! I think it’s cool that President Obama has decided to stick a court up at the back of the White House, and I think it’s very cool that this is a sport that allows you to wear arm warmers!
I need to learn alot more about this very popular American sport, so I shall purchase NBA 09 for a games console and play. If I still don’t get it, who cares, either way it kept me company for an hour last night, and for that I thank the good people at Channel 5 and NBA for keeping me sane in an open university and game show abyss.
